Fly Away Now
by Ashori-Chan
Summary: Two trolls team up and plan on taking over the world. Panty & Stocking crossover. CRACK/StockingxIzaya/rated M for Stockings bad mouth
1. Chapter 1

**I CAN EXPLAIN, SO PLEASE DON'T GO THROWING ROCKS AT ME!**

***Ahem* My friend, the one who's beta'ing Future in my Hands, bribed me to do this, a StockingxIzaya fanfic. Or she won't beta for me anymore. Needless to say, I had to type this up. **

**I actually had fun, and I plan on doing this gradually. I had fun typing up Stocking's character. I tried to make her as much of a bitch, and child she is.**

**By the way, I self-beta'd this, so if you see any mistakes, just point them out to me.~**

**PS. I'm rating this M, because of Stockings use of language.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara!, or P&S.**

Stocking wasn't one to get annoyed that quickly. Unless her sister did something idiotic, or someone was just being _really_ annoying. What really got on her nerves this time however was that someone randomly called her, and told her to meet him at this sushi place at ten o'clock AM.

It was now ten fifteen o'clock AM. And she was _starving_. Tapping her foot in frustration, Stocking finally saw someone sitting down in her table. He had a tacky brown coat, with tan fur trimming, messy black hair, and weird red eyes. Stocking guessed that he had contacts, bad ones at that.

"Your late, _dumbass_." Stocking said, with an annoyed tint to her voice.

"Sorry. My assistant asked me trio file some papers!" The man said, smiling.

'_He has such a fake smile. Uragh.' _Stocking crossed her legs together, and sipped her tea. Adding extra sugar as she felt the bitterness go down her throat. "What did you call me out here for, exactly? I don't even know your _name_, yet somehow you know _mine_."

"Orihara Izaya, you can just call me-"

"Dumbass is your new name, _dumbass_." Stocking said, cutting Izaya off. She honestly didn't want to spend any more of her precious time with this _'Izaya'_ guy. She had important _'take-over-the-world'_ business to attend to.

Still smiling, Izaya ordered Simon's special ice cream sushi for Stocking and ootroo for himself. "Anarchy Stocking, how about we team up and take over the world together?"

Blinking, Stocking sighed. This dumbass really _was_an idiot. "No thanks, dumbass. I'm fine on my own."

"Really now? Do you know the names of everyone powerful in Earth? Do you know their weaknesses, and strengths?" Izaya said, almost sounding like he knew what Stocking was going to say.

Rising one of her eye-brows slowly, Stocking took another sip of her tea. "So, what your saying is; that you know everyone and anyone's weaknesses?"

"Not everyone's, just the really important people's weaknesses and strengths." Izaya swung his chair back and forth, clearly getting worked up. "I know that your biggest strength is your quick mouth, and stockings. Your weakness is your sister, Panty. You guys can't get along, right?"

Slamming down her tea, Stocking stood up and leaned over the table, right in Izaya's face. "What're you exactly, _Izaya_?"

"A simple informant, that's all." Izaya said, smirking. "You may want to sit back down; Simon gets mad if he sees two people dangerously close."

Huffing, Stocking sat back down, and crossed her arms. _'I have to admit, he's good. He can read a person, that's a rare trait for humans. I can see why he's an informant.'_"I accept. Just make sure you don't drag me down, dumbass."

"I won't, I promise." Izaya said.

**-A few months later-**

Stocking and Izaya quickly became Tokyo's biggest trouble makers after a few months. Stocking wouldn't admit it, but she was having fun. Izaya was the opposite, and did admit that he was having fun making humans freak out, seeing their reactions with Stocking.

"Ohhh, I know. I haven't introduced you to one of my favorite _monsters_ever!" Izaya said, after he and Stocking made a fifty-year-old man go home crying because he was a looser who never kissed a woman.

"Who, Izaya?" Stocking asked, her gaze fixed on playing with her stuffed cat, Honekoneko. Over the past few months, Stocking decided to just call Izaya by his first name. It still sounded rude, to her at least.

"Heiwajima Shizuo. You can call him _'Shizzy-Chan'_, if you'd like, Stocking-Chan!" Izaya sounded really ecstatic, and angry just saying Shizuo's name. She figured that they didn't get along. "Ohhh, I think I see him! There he is!"

Izaya pointed at a tall man, with messy blonde hair, and with a scowl on his face. He looked like someone that Panty would fall head-over heels over. "I'm going to go and talk to him, Izaya. Don't come with me." Stocking side, giving Izaya Honekoneko.

Tapping Shizuo's shoulder, Stocking tried to put her annoyed face on. This wasn't that hard to do. "Move it, cherry boy." Stocking didn't know if he _really_was a virgin, but if Izaya called him a monster, he must be.

Shizuo's left eyebrow twitched at Stockings comment, but he kept his anger in check. He couldn't harm a girl, even if she was a bitch. "Girl, please don't call me that." Shizuo got a good look at Stocking. Long blue hair, with pink highlights. A Gothic-Lolita dress, with black and blue stockings, and an annoyed looking face. Certainly a weird style to see in Ikeburuko.

"Call you what, a _cherry boy_?" Stocking suddenly started giggling. "Don't tell me that you actually _are_ a _cherry boy_?" Stocking had a teasing tone in her voice. She was having extra fun with Shizuo. His expressions were priceless!

Now his hands were twitching. "Girl, who're you, exactly? You don't go around saying that to random people that you don't know anything about."

"Stocking. _Anarchy Stocking_. I'm a higher being then you, so I'd watch your mouth, _cherry boy_." Stocking said, now laughing uncontrollably.

That was it. Shizuo stopped being a gentleman, and picked up a nearby vending machine. Stocking jumped back, and quickly took off one of her stockings. Instead of throwing the vending machine, instead Shizuo stared at Stocking, obviously dumbfounded.

"What? You've never seen a girl take off her stockings before? Poor, poor, Shizzy-Chan. You need to take more women out on dates!" Izaya said, coming out of hiding. He stood near Stocking, smirking, though it was hard to take him seriously with a stuffed cat in his arm.

Shizuo now threw the vending machine at Izaya, only for it to be cut in half by Stockings sword. Now Stocking was the one smirking, and it was getting on Shizuo's nerves. The fact that she's protecting that _flea_ also got on his nerves.

"I told you that I could handle this myself, _dumbass_." Stocking said, pointing her sword in Izaya's face. He didn't even flinch.

"I like teasing Shizzy-Chan too much, Stocking-Chan!" Izaya said, smiling. Stocking dubbed it _'the cheesiest smile ever'_.

"Shut up you _flea_!" Shizuo said, flinging a mailbox at Izaya, only for it to but cut in half by Stocking again.

Annoyance tinged in Stockings face. She was fed up with this annoying cherry boy. Even his voice annoyed her. Taking off her other stocking quickly, Stocking made her move and pined Shizuo to a nearby brick wall, putting both of her swords in the palms of his hands. He didn't even blink once as she made her move.

"You annoy me too much, _cherry boy_." Stocking said, her eyes beginning to become crazier than they already were. Shizuo was beginning to think that this girl was cracked in the head.

Instead of doing more damage, Stocking pulled out her two swords and walked back over to Izaya, taking Honekoneko in the process.

Izaya sure was having fun with Stocking after all. Despite her not being one of his precious humans.

Namie got on Stockings nerves. Their attitudes clashed at times, and they often fought about a bunch of stuff. Mostly stuff about Naime's _'sick love for her little brother'_, as Stocking put it. Izaya was being the usual troll that he was, and sat back while watching Stocking and Namie fight it out. Verbally, of course.

"… Hey, slut, where's the chocolate pudding?" Naime said, looking through the small refrigerator that Izaya kept.

"I ate it all, bitch." Stocking said eating her newly bought double chocolate cheesecake.

Slamming the refrigerator door shut, Namie stomped over to Stocking. "Then it's only fair that you share your chocolate cheesecake with me, _slut_."

"Just try me, _bitch_." Stocking said, pointing her fork at Namie.

That was _it_. Namie grabbed Stockings dress collar, and pulled her to the ground, ripping part of her dress in the process. Stocking immediately started ripping Naime's shirt in return. "You _bitch_, this dress was one-hundred and seventy dollars!"

By the time Izaya came home from his usual trolling spree, Stocking and Namie were only in their underwear. Though, Namie had to put her hand over her chest to keep her bra from falling down.

"Oops, sorry. I didn't know you two were changing!" Izaya said, slamming the door shut.

"We weren't changing, Izaya, we were having a sexy cat-fight." Stocking said, in a sarcastic voice, snickering a little in the process. Stocking wanted to see Izaya's expression when she finally ripped off all of Namie's clothes.

"I'd rather not get a nose-bleed, Stocking-Chan." Izaya said. His face was already a deep shade of red, but he'd rather not mention that to Stocking. She'd rip him a new one.

"Your loss!" Stocking said, ripping what little Namie had left of her bra.


	2. Chapter 2

**Yeaaahhhh, I got nothin'. Enjoy, I guess?**

**PS. FFFFFFFUUUUUU, finals are killing me. GUH. One more day to go. Yayyyyy! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! nor Panty & Stocking. **

"Stocking-Chaaaaaan." Izaya cried out. "Where are my hot Cheetos?"

"Find it yourself, dumbass." Stocking said, eating a chocolate cheesecake. "You know that I hate spicy stuff."

"I know, Stocking-Chan, I just can't find them anywhere." Izaya said, opening up all kinds of cabinets in his office.

"Have you asked that bitch, Namie?" Stocking said, with a mouth full of cheesecake. Lately, Stocking hasn't seen Naime around as much. She came a few times that week, must be because Stocking beat her up in their little _sexy_ cat-fight. Well, she tore up her underwear, making Naime put on Izaya's extra clothes. Stocking just put on one of her _many_ extra dresses.

"No, I haven't asked her. She might've eaten it. I can't find my hot Cheetos anywhere." Izaya said, giving up and sat down next to Stocking, eyeing her cheesecake. "I haven't seen Naime around much after your sexy cat-fight. Hmmmm…"

"Good. I hate that bitch, she gets on my nerves." Stocking said, harsher than usual. Not like her voice tone wasn't always harsh.

"I love all humans, so she falls into that category." Izaya said, shrugging, still eyeing Stocking's cheesecake.

"Quit eyeing my cheesecake, you can't have any." Stocking said, pointing her fork at Izaya. Again, she didn't twitch, he just kept on smirking.

"I'm just wondering how you can eat so much sweet stuff without gaining a pound." Izaya put his index finger on his chin, thinking of something. "You can't possibly have that high of a metabolism, can you?

Chewing on another piece of her cheesecake, Stocking took a sip of her tea, with extra sugar, and answered Izaya. "I work out a lot. Between fighting ghosts, and chasing that cherry boy around town, I get a good workout." Stocking still fought ghosts, despite having no intention of returning to Heaven. She just wanted the sweets from Heaven, really. She'd die without them. Or at least, that's what she thought inside her head.

"Oh, okay then. That's just been bugging me a lot lately." Izaya said, still smirking.

Sighing, Stocking cut into her cheesecake, picked it up with her fork, and pointed it back at Izaya. "I'll give you one little piece if you'd stop eyeing my cheesecake, Izaya." Stocking was never normally that nice, but Izaya was starting to really annoy her with that smirk of his. It was really starting to creep her out.

Izaya's face lit up as he leaned down and ate the little piece of cheesecake. "Ahhh, Stocking-Chan, where'd you get this cheesecake? It's the best thing I've ever eaten!"

"From Heaven. I used coins and got this cheesecake, and plenty more." Stocking took another bite of her cheesecake. Almost belching when she tasted curry as she chewed her piece of cheesecake.

"I forgot I had curry today for lunch!" Izaya said, his face glowing. She forgot it, but the side-effects that humans experience when they eat stuff from Heaven was weird. They're face would glow, or they'd get super flirty. It seemed like Stocking got off easy, this time at least. "Oh, by the way, I guess this means we've officially kissed, huh?"

Stocking chocked as she took a huge gulp of her tea with extra sugar. Scratch that, she was _so_ screwed.

Dodging one of Shizuo's vending machine attacks, Stocking threw one of her swords at Shizuo, missing but she did rip the sleeve of his bartender uniform. Shizuo roared out something that Stocking couldn't make out, and now he was physically attacking her.

"_Shit!"_ Stocking dodged one of Shizuo's punches, just barely though. _'It seems I made him madder then usual… is it because of his bartender uniform?'_ Quickly running, Stocking managed to dig out her other sword from the side of a brick wall, just in time to dodge Shizuo's punch. Unfortunately, he did punch a man whose pants were down to his knees, he looked like he couldn't run that fast with his pants pulled down like that. _'Pffft, weakling.'_

Stocking pinned Shizuo to the side of a building, again. Only, she pinned her swords on both sides of his neck, if he moved she could quickly slice off his neck. Smiling when she saw that Shizuo's eyes widen with shock, Stocking laughed. "Not so strong when the females on top, huh cherry boy? _Pathetic_."

Shizuo stayed in his place, deciding to ask Stocking a question. "Why do you team up with that flea? You seem to be a lot stronger than him." Somehow, Shizuo remained calm while asking Stocking his question, though he wasn't sure why he was so calm.

"Who, Izaya? I'd hardly classify him as a flea, maybe an annoying cat who is _super_ nosy, but a flea? Ick." Stocking said, shuddering at the thought of a flea. "I'm only with him because he can read people so easily. I want to take over the world, but I can't without his help. I can't read people as easily as him."

Questioning Stocking's sanity, Shizuo sighed. "Can I ask you this? What exactly are you? And don't lie, I want the whole truth."

"A demon. I originally _was_ an angel, but being an angel is really boring. Besides, if they can allow sluts like my sister in, I don't want to be a part of Heaven. They call her a _bitchy angel_ for nothing." Stocking said, frowning. For some reason, she didn't feel like lying to Shizuo. Mostly because she wasn't good at coming up with lies.

"… You're a demon? Yet you have angel wings." Shizuo really questioned Stocking. Not her sanity now, but her logic.

"Details, details. I don't want to go into them." Stocking said, sighing. Taking out her swords from the building, Stocking started walking again. "Sorry, I'm bored again. I'm going to get something to eat. Bye, cherry boy!"

It was already a full month since Stocking teamed up with Izaya, and now he was treating her to the best clothes shop in Ikeburuko. At first, she asked him if this was a trick, but he assured her that it wasn't. Stocking gave in, and agreed to go with him. If he tried anything, she'd slice off his fingers anyway.

While walking to the clothes store, Stocking got annoyed. People were calling her and Izaya an item now. They were now Ikeburuko's hottest couple? Stocking never knew. "Izaya," Stocking glared at Izaya as she said his name between clenched teeth. "did you do anything to make this happen?"

"I swear on my life I didn't, Stocking-Chan." Izaya said, smirking. "They must be talking about us in tabloids. Humans are so easily amused by gossip articles."

"Make it stop, please." Stocking said, stopping dead in her tracks. Izaya stopped a few feet ahead of her, and turned around. Well, to be exact, he spun around.

"I can't. As long as we're around, they'll keep on talking about us, Stocking-Chan." Izaya shrugged. "I'd try and ignore them as much as you can, if I were you."

Frowning, Stocking started walking again. Izaya for once, seemed serious. To be honest, she liked serious Izaya more than his childish side. "Fine, I will. For now."

When she got to the store, she realized that they sold every cute dress possible. From gothic Lolita, to casual dresses. Stockings face lit up as she tried out the gothic Lolita dresses. "Don't peek Izaya!"

"I won't, I promise." Izaya said, sitting down in one of the chairs.

After an hour, Stocking picked out a black dress, with purple and white ruffles. It was really, really puffy. She also picked out cute dark purple and white stockings to go with it, since she needed new ones.

"Stocking-Chan, you'll look beautiful at the ball I'm invited to in a few days." Izaya said, smirking as shock took over Stockings face.

"Screw you dumbass!" Stocking said, running away with her dress and stockings in her arms.

"Sorry about that. Put it on Shiki's tab, please!" Izaya said, running after Stocking.

**No reviews. BOOOO.**


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